A sudden departure from my prior educational plans means I’m moving again. I can’t seem to get enough of it. Just when something starts feeling like home, I am ripped from it. This time I’m the instigator.
Everything is new: new school year, new town, new experiences, new focus, new start. New sheets! I ooze positivity. This is my decision so for once, I am in control.
As I wade through the year, I settle back into anxiety. Distraction comes from the ancient boom-box in the woodshop. It is always playing something embarrassingly familiar; country. Something that brings me back to my hour long bus rides through the woods in Indiana as a 2nd grader. Something I haven’t thought of in over a decade. I am suddenly calm; I secretly have something to relate to. The irrational decision to change my life direction at 20 is momentarily irrelevant as Randy Travis sings Deeper Than The Holler.
I’m no music virgin. I can be can snobby about it, taking it all very seriously. If it isn’t fuzzy, full, fast and urgent… it’s… off. I make exceptions. I like some alt-country artists, and who doesn’t dig Johnny Cash? But Garth Brooks? No way. I use music to control my surroundings. To set the tone in situations. Certain things must only be listened to in a car, some things only on grey afternoons. I only listen to albums the entire way through.
How would I deal with my days being bombarded by this music that brings back memories that I am not ready to process? I relinquish my new-found control. I just let it happen. I am on someone else’s turf now. I am humbled.
Music mixes past memories with new experiences.
word count:282
this is very interesting. i love garth brooks though haha but i like that you feel so passionately about something
ReplyDeleteI cant agree more with your theme, I understand the feeling when you hear a song and it brings back memories. btw this is a very nice story!
ReplyDelete